Listening to mediators

I've been involved in a mediation process and today spent much of the day listening to mediators and enjoying the process quite aside from the content. We could all do with a lot more mediatorial involvement. Away from the crisis it may seem like a luxury but it will add real value to any exchange you are involved in. Here are some of the key steps. Once some one has given a point of view – the mediator preciss and repeats back to them. This is what I heard you say – is that a fair summary?  Then asking others around the table Do you think that what this person has said is a fair representation of their point of view. Is there anything you would like to add? And this entirely separate from whether you agree with what that person has just said. Or what your own point of view is.

It is slow and painstaking work but it yields great results – immediate understanding of personal differences – what is based on real or perceived difference. I am indebted to what mediators have taught me – but listening to how they listen and encourage me to listen.

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